I can manage......(finally)

I've finally put all that bullshit from the last few month in the past, and I'm getting use to student life. At the same time there are people who I've met over the last few months who have helped me and are still helping now without realising. I've found the confidence i needed, it was inside all that time I'm just getting use to the communication skills I'm gaining from it and still learning new ones. I feel that 2009 is gonna be my year and the years to come will be my year cause its wat you make of it. All I really need is inspiration for different things in my life and I've already found one, I'm sure the rest will come along soon.

Clearing some mental space

Its been about a month now since I started uni and its been the most eventful month of my life. I'm couping at the moment and eventually I'll get use to it but so far I'm finding it difficult to keep up with student life, I think its because I took a year out. In that year life was simple, I would wake up, go to work, finish, go out etc. I had a routine everything was perfect, so perfect I didn't even wanna meet a girl cause I thought that would mess up that perfect little world I was living in. Now everything thing is random, anything can happen there is no routine, in a way its good because life isn't predictable and its more fun but I like to feel like I've got my life in control. But like I said I'll get use to it........

The other think I wanted to write about is the recent affairs with a girl I met. This girl is so beautiful and when I was seeing I had such a good time, BUT I felt I had to call it off. I realized she only wanted me as someone on the side, a bit of fun cause I could only see her when it suited her. To cut a long story short I feel calling it of was the right thing to do because we both want different things, for her a bit of fun but I wanted to have someone there when I needed someone to hold a lasting relationship nothing serious cause we are both busy. But at the same time I still wish it lasted longer even if it couldn't go any further, she had perfect personality and she is one of, if not the most beatiful girl I've even seen. I just have to get use to the fact that I may never see her again and that she will meet someone else if she hasn't already. Still I have no hard feeling towards her because she brought back some excitment and I can understand she has just move up here so she isn't really gonna jump into anything, I wouldn't either if I was in her position. I just hope she will always remember me, because I'll never forget her..........

Just finished one chapter, I soon start the next

Just finished my gap year and I'm getting ready to start uni. I decided that a gap year would be best for me when I finished college because I had such a crap year, now that I've finished I feel that its one of the best decision I've made. The whole point was to take a brake from studying, get some expierence, have some fun and exierence some new things. first of all I'vedefinately done lots of new things like, paintball shooting, golf, casinos etc just things like that but the best thing of all just at the end of my gap year i managed to go and see N*E*R*D live. the other thing was my job. I've made some many friends there and had lots of fun, gained lots of skills and I feel that I'm a lot more confident, now I feel I can do want ever I want if I put my mind to it. Now I think I can get a lot more out of uni.

Back from Tenerife

Not long just got back from Tenerife. Went over there with my family, there was lots of things to like water sports (which I really enjoyed), and quadbiking up the mountains and many more. Before I left a friend told me that Tenerife looks like Blackpool with sunny weather and its actually true but saying that the streets are a lot cleaner and the locals are a lot more polite, which reminds me about the spanish women other there. I felt like I was walking through the set of a Hip hop video, just shows us lads are missing out tho. Food was nice there and the beach were good too the only thing that got on my nerves was my mom and brother moaning about everything. Just hope I can start traveling more often.

A new chapter

In a few months I'll be 20 years old and I've realized that I'll no longer be a teenager. You maybe thinking big deal nothing important(which is what i was thinking at first), but a few things from my childhood has popped up that keeps remindin me that I'm getting older. for example, I had a few action-man toys that i used to play with when i was a little boy which i thought i had lost, that other day when i was clearing my room i found every single one at the bottom of a box. the other thing was a game i used to play on the play station bout 10 years ago which is very rare now bout some how I've managed to find it and currently playing now. another example is at christmas when i took my baby brother to a wacky warehouse kinda thing, watching him play around the place reminded me of myself when my mom used to take to that kinda thing. when each of those things popped up it brought a smile to my face thinking bout all the good times but when i was young i always used to think to myself i wish i was an adult but now that i am i realized that i don't think i'm finished being a child yet.

Don't get me wrong I'm enjoying my life right now and things have gone to plan because I'm starting uni soon its just that i kinda feel like i wished part of my life away. but all is not lost cause i can re-live my childhood again in a mature way by taking my baby brother to the places my parents have brought me and places I've wanted to go but never got the chance.

Writing this blog has help me realize wat I'm going through right now and i now know why i feel the way i do. I think I'll be posting more blogs in future so look out for them lol.

Thanks for reading and feel free to leave comments

Jerome.